Susan & Gabrielle's Visions of Excess

Susan Mayer: I've always wanted to ask, you Gabby, how you seem to deal so easily with you being Catholic. Or maybe it's not as easy as you make it seem? You're so carefree about it all.
Gabrielle Solis: So what are you saying, protestants have it harder than catholics? I would think we have it harder what with only one universal Catholic church and all that, as opposed to your supermarket variety of protestant denominations to choose from. I'm sorry, I know how that must sound, but you have to admit, there is quite a bit of variety in protestantism, and we only have one generic brand of Catholicism, take it or leave it.
Susan: Hm, I thought I was going to be the one to make arrogant statements. You've beat me to the punch. No, what I meant, was you seem to enjoy so many more things than protestant women do. I'm taking you as a sample of your average Catholic in America, but maybe that's not fair to all of the deeply religous women who wouldn't quite agree with my sampling poll right now.
Gabrielle: Well, why not me, I mean, I went to a Catholic school, until I got to college, of course. I go to confession when I can fit it in. I know I should go more often, but when I do go, I always come away with a clean slate, so I love that about Catholicism, you can stay out all night sining the night away, then next morning go to confession, provided you remeber where the nearest church is. No, of course, I'm not serious. But I did have a girlfriend in college who was very wild, but also very guilty the next morning. She almost lived in the confession booth every Sunday morning, after her usual marathon-like Saturday night carnavals. I wonder why she bothered, poor thing. Oh well, I just mention her to prove a point.
Susan: Oh come on, Gabby, you must admit that most people at mass are there because they seriously believe in the beauty of the Catholic faith, and not out of guilt because they were with who knows how many men and going to who knows how many parties on Saturday night, or during the rest of the week. I even had a neighbor a few years ago, who was deeply religious, held prayer meetings in his house for any parishoner to come to, officiated in the Mass rituals, and was a celibate, I hope, gay man. At any rate, he was openly gay and it didn't seem to bother the priest or the men and women who came to his house to pray. I thought I had lost my mind whenever he told me that during the first part of Sunday he'd be in church and later on that night, he'd be at the drag shows at the local bar watching the latin drag queens sing their songs of decadence and grace. When parishoners questioned him about how he could do both or want to do both, he'd always say, that one activity had nothing to do with the other activity. He was very serious, as was the other young man whom he had met at a bar and had asked him to join him for mass every Sunday morning. It's a very strange world we live in, Gabby.
Gabby: So you see, there are all types of Catholics. Can I assume there are all kinds of-- You know, Susan, I'm not sure what you really are, since you never talk about it, like Carlos and I do to you guys. Or does it matter what brand of protestantism you belong to?
Susan: Of course it matters, Gabby. Wars have been fought and are still being fought because of what brand of faith one belongs to, not just among protestants, but the whole world over. I'm baptist, but not the really conservative kind, more like the Bill and Hillary Clinton type, seriously Baptist, but not the type that you see on-- ahem, never mind, I don't like to call the kettle one color, when they may be doing the same to me. I was raised Seventh-Day Adventist, then moved onto the Pentecostals, and a few others, and finally decided that the Baptists were where I best fitted in. Althought at times, I wonder if I turned my back on my childhood too quickly, like Prince did. Yes, he is another famous ex-Seventh-Day Adventist, along with Little Richard and Joan Lunden. Wait, I think Little Richard may still be attending.
Gabby: Seventh-Day Adventists, hm. I hope they're not all like my college roommate's second husband, who told her if she continued keeping Sunday, she was going to wind up being branded with the mark of the beast at the end of time, whenever that takes place.
Susan: Well, Gabby, as you yourself know there are insensitive and arrogant people in every religion. It doesn't mean all Adventists think like your friend's husband.
Gabby: Anyway, Susan, I really should ask you about why we're spending so much time talking about religion when it's guys we should be talking about.
Susan: Well, we should have opened that can of worms earlier in the evening. The evening news is almost past & I have no idea if we're going to have a world to enjoy a year from now. So let's start this men and christian living subject when we have more time on our side.
Gabby: Ok, Susan, see you in church. Oh, well, you never know, if you get tired of yours, come to mine, and I'm sure I'd do the same. Bye.
Mystery Man:
Mystery Women: